Oh no! Another reminder that your life sucks! Whatever shall you do?
Let's face it, if you're life was exciting and fulfilling then you wouldn't be wasting 3hrs of your day watching a movie. Unless you're exciting & fulfilling life has you working in the movie business. My guess is, it doesn't.
Of course reality sucks in comparison; did you see any fatass Na'vi running around with acne living in their mom's basement? Okay, fine, they lived with their mother in a giant tree; but they were still skinny and pimple free. Plus, who wouldn't want freckles that glowed in the dark?
Avatar isn't the first hard look in the mirror people have been forced to take, it's just so damn shiny and pretty that even the media couldn't look away. Will it inspire cleaner living, alternative energy & less wastefulness? Let's not get ahead of ourselves. . .
But let's not forget that there are millions of examples of lives much more awesome than our own out there. Star Wars, Star Trek, just about any comic book you pick up, Tomb Raider, 27 Dresses, Alice in Wonderland (Hell, pick one), any of the happy dancy Disney movies. . . but let's all jump on Avatar because it makes us humans look at ourselves in a negative light and because the giant blue people didn't worship Jesus.
But for those of you who wish you lived on Pandora because everything on that planet is awesome, I suggest you go to National Geographic and check out some of the crazy critters that live on THIS planet. You want strange & glow in the dark things? Check out the ocean. They have galleries upon galleries of translucent, neon, color changing and alien creatures living right in our oceans on our planet. Better yet, check out this video.
Yeah, I know, this blog makes me look soft. You'll live.
At least take this away with you: Pandora is cool, but the Earth is awesome.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Dating
Some people suck at dating. Maybe they have that whole, nervous mumbling thing that's all awkward and 'romantic comedy'. Maybe they come off as cold so no one asks them out thinking they don't have a chance.
Some of us just hate dating altogether.
Not just the 'act of' dating, but the whole idea of it. It's total crap. Dating puts expectations on you before you even know if you like the person.
This dating business is too over-thought. Too stressful. There are Rules to dating. Like kissing on the 1st date and if a guy calls on Tuesday then the girl makes herself unavailable till Thursday to keep him in suspense. Really? So if a guy wins spontaneous tickets to your OMG Favorite Band Ever! and the concert is tomorrow night, you're supposed to say 'No' because you don't want to look too available?
Which is worse, being 'available' at a rockin concert or being 'unavailable' sitting at home watching Say Yes To The Dress while you down a bag of Doritos? Sodium increases cellulite, btw.
Way to go ladies, you passed up a badass evening because you read that a CosmoGirl is never too available. Now you're Would Be hot date is at the concert. . . with someone who was available.
So dating has all these rules that pretty much fuck everything up. Instead of doing what you want to do, you're doing what you think you're supposed to do. And why date someone if you're not comfortable enough to do what you want?
Don't forget about expectations. The whole reason you're with this person at the movies/coffee shop/whatever is because you both have a 'Goal' in mind. That you're going to, what, be boyfriend and girlfriend in a couple of months? And if that doesn't happen you can't be friends anymore because this ridiculous little concept didn't pan out like the magazines say and your little hopes are dashed? Lame.
What happens if the dates go well but then once you see them interact with other humans you're mortified? You have to break them down gently now, because you've already started dating which means this person has told all their friends and parents about you and they've probably been imagining some kind of future together. Yikes. You didn't realize they were such an idiot until you saw them in their natural element and you've already made this vocal commitment with the word 'Dating' that now you've got to chew your leg off nicely to get out of it.
Dating is flawed.
Save the term for someone you are actually excited about seeing and already know you're into. Date the guy that has already proved that he is beyond 2dimensional on more than one occasion. Date the girl who always manages to surprise you with her coolness. Don't date the cute chick in the shoe department with the nametag that says Jyll.
If you want to get to know the mall girl, invite her and her friends to a group event. You can both get to know each other in a no pressure, expectation free environment. And if you don't bone, you can still probably be friends at the end of the day. Unless she's a total flop, then drop her ass.
It's not like you two were dating. . .
Some of us just hate dating altogether.
Not just the 'act of' dating, but the whole idea of it. It's total crap. Dating puts expectations on you before you even know if you like the person.
This dating business is too over-thought. Too stressful. There are Rules to dating. Like kissing on the 1st date and if a guy calls on Tuesday then the girl makes herself unavailable till Thursday to keep him in suspense. Really? So if a guy wins spontaneous tickets to your OMG Favorite Band Ever! and the concert is tomorrow night, you're supposed to say 'No' because you don't want to look too available?
Which is worse, being 'available' at a rockin concert or being 'unavailable' sitting at home watching Say Yes To The Dress while you down a bag of Doritos? Sodium increases cellulite, btw.
Way to go ladies, you passed up a badass evening because you read that a CosmoGirl is never too available. Now you're Would Be hot date is at the concert. . . with someone who was available.
So dating has all these rules that pretty much fuck everything up. Instead of doing what you want to do, you're doing what you think you're supposed to do. And why date someone if you're not comfortable enough to do what you want?
Don't forget about expectations. The whole reason you're with this person at the movies/coffee shop/whatever is because you both have a 'Goal' in mind. That you're going to, what, be boyfriend and girlfriend in a couple of months? And if that doesn't happen you can't be friends anymore because this ridiculous little concept didn't pan out like the magazines say and your little hopes are dashed? Lame.
What happens if the dates go well but then once you see them interact with other humans you're mortified? You have to break them down gently now, because you've already started dating which means this person has told all their friends and parents about you and they've probably been imagining some kind of future together. Yikes. You didn't realize they were such an idiot until you saw them in their natural element and you've already made this vocal commitment with the word 'Dating' that now you've got to chew your leg off nicely to get out of it.
Dating is flawed.
Save the term for someone you are actually excited about seeing and already know you're into. Date the guy that has already proved that he is beyond 2dimensional on more than one occasion. Date the girl who always manages to surprise you with her coolness. Don't date the cute chick in the shoe department with the nametag that says Jyll.
If you want to get to know the mall girl, invite her and her friends to a group event. You can both get to know each other in a no pressure, expectation free environment. And if you don't bone, you can still probably be friends at the end of the day. Unless she's a total flop, then drop her ass.
It's not like you two were dating. . .
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Text Chatting
It's stupid.
That's right, I said it.
If you want to chat, fine, go chat. Over coffee or tea or dessert. Don't text me and ask me what I'm doing unless you are about to suggest doing something else Together where we will be able to talk face to face. I do not want to tell you all about my day in a series of 160character messages. I sure as hell don't want to be bombarded by messages about your day either, so don't do that.
I feel the world is missing an important difference between texting and chatting.
Sure, technology has improved in such a way that you can now run a chat program (or IM if you like) from your fancy little iphone or whatever.
This does not excuse you; you're annoying.
Texts are designed to be short, sweet, and direct. If you just walked by the craziest thing you have ever seen in your sad little life then by all means - text your buddy that you just saw the craziest thing you have ever seen in your sad little life. But save the details for when you meet up later. Or take a sly pic and send that out.
Stop sending stupid text messages with ". . . " like you're bored because I'm not talking to you. You are not sitting on your ass in front of a computer monitor waiting for my next response. Go do shit. That way you'll actually have something to talk about when you see your friends later.
What am I supposed to do, respond to each and every asinine text you send just to maintain your ego? Will you not be my friend anymore because I didn't text back in a timely manner to your message that consisted entirely of the word 'So'?
This is why texts cost money! Because as soon as they had Unlimited Texting there was a monsoon of perfect examples as to why dumbasses should never breed! Drunk texting is the thing now, not drunk dialing; because why tell just ONE ex girlfriend all the dirty things you want to do to her when you can mass send a single text to your entire contact list?
If you have a pal that likes this text chatting business then that's great for you; you can go be lame & annoying together. Leave my cell the hell out of it.
That's right, I said it.
If you want to chat, fine, go chat. Over coffee or tea or dessert. Don't text me and ask me what I'm doing unless you are about to suggest doing something else Together where we will be able to talk face to face. I do not want to tell you all about my day in a series of 160character messages. I sure as hell don't want to be bombarded by messages about your day either, so don't do that.
I feel the world is missing an important difference between texting and chatting.
Sure, technology has improved in such a way that you can now run a chat program (or IM if you like) from your fancy little iphone or whatever.
This does not excuse you; you're annoying.
Texts are designed to be short, sweet, and direct. If you just walked by the craziest thing you have ever seen in your sad little life then by all means - text your buddy that you just saw the craziest thing you have ever seen in your sad little life. But save the details for when you meet up later. Or take a sly pic and send that out.
Stop sending stupid text messages with ". . . " like you're bored because I'm not talking to you. You are not sitting on your ass in front of a computer monitor waiting for my next response. Go do shit. That way you'll actually have something to talk about when you see your friends later.
What am I supposed to do, respond to each and every asinine text you send just to maintain your ego? Will you not be my friend anymore because I didn't text back in a timely manner to your message that consisted entirely of the word 'So'?
This is why texts cost money! Because as soon as they had Unlimited Texting there was a monsoon of perfect examples as to why dumbasses should never breed! Drunk texting is the thing now, not drunk dialing; because why tell just ONE ex girlfriend all the dirty things you want to do to her when you can mass send a single text to your entire contact list?
If you have a pal that likes this text chatting business then that's great for you; you can go be lame & annoying together. Leave my cell the hell out of it.
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